


Adored By Him

by spookyweek



Category: Smosh
Genre: Alcohol, Heavy Angst, M/M, Pining, Sad Ending, Song fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyweek/pseuds/spookyweek
Summary: And I won’t hate you, but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?(aka the one based on adored by him by dodie clark)





	Adored By Him

**Author's Note:**

> don't hate me pls

_Pretty girl with the butterscotch hair, your eyes and the sunshine smile you wear. I can see how you make his soul glow._

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll see you at home” A pause, signaling the person on the other end was talking. “I love you, too.” Those last four words rang in Shayne’s ears. _I love you, too._ He felt every syllable, like ice into his heart. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the brunette boy turning his attention back to him. Shayne’s demeanor quickly shifting back to the same fake-happy he always wore like a mask.

He _was_ happy for Damien—he really was. But, of course, it hurt. Shayne’s feelings for him had always been there, lurking under the surface, threatening to bubble out, but were repressed by his need to be Damien’s friend rather than nothing at all. If he ignored them, they’d go away, right? Not right. Not right in the slightest. In fact, much to Shayne’s dismay, they seemed to get worse. But, Damien was happy, and that was all that mattered. Happy and content with his girlfriend—someone who wasn’t Shayne.

Finally, he was able to swallow the lump in his throat. “What was that about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Damien replied, placing his phone back on his desk. “We made plans to go hiking this weekend. She found some obscure hiking trail that’s supposed to be super beautiful or something.” _Hiking. Why didn’t he think of that?_ Shayne mentally slapped himself for missing a bonding opportunity.

_Pretty girl with the adventurous mind, you envision so much you make me look blind. You spark his life in ways I’ll never know._

“Oh, that sounds awesome,” he replied, his gaze dropping to the floor.

_And I won’t hate you but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?_

———

“I don’t wanna leave,” the brunette slurred. “Having too much fun.” He stumbled a bit, leaning into Shayne for support.

“I can tell,” Shayne mumbled. He rarely saw Damien drink, much less get drunk, so he didn’t know what to expect from this night. “C’mon. We gotta get you home.” He threw Damien’s arm around his shoulder grabbing his wrist with his left hand and wrapping his own arm around the slightly taller boy’s waist. He helped Damien stumble through the crowded bar and out into the street, searching for the Uber he’d called.

Finally finding it, he helped Damien climb—or fall, rather—into the backseat, sliding himself in beside him. Damien, who had become incredibly sleepy all of a sudden, leaned over to rest his head on Shayne’s shoulder.

Arriving at their shared apartment, Shayne helped Damien stumble into the elevator and then into their apartment. Deciding it was probably better for all parties involved to park Damien on the couch for the night, given his intoxicated state, Shayne helped him to the couch, where he willingly fell face first into the cushions, sighing contently.

Settling into the couch at his feet, Shayne helped the other boy remove his shoes and placed a blanket over Damien’s legs as well as his own.

It was quiet for a while. Convinced Damien had fallen asleep, Shayne let himself start to drift until he felt something—Damien’s foot—jabbing into his side repeatedly in an effort to get his attention.

“Shayne?” Damien whispered, moving to sit up. “Shayne,” he tried again, his voice slightly louder, poking the blonde in the cheek with his finger.

“Go to sleep, Damien,” Shayne tried, shutting his eyes again.

“I just wanted to talk,” Damien pouted.

“Fine,” Shayne sighed, glancing at the clock. Twelve-fifteen. “About what?”

“Dunno. I was just thinking about how great things have been lately,” Damien started, sinking back onto the couch next to Shayne. Even in the dim light of their living room, Shayne could see the smile on his face. “I have the coolest job ever. I work with the best people ever. I’ve got the best friend a guy could ask for. Oh, and, I have the best girlfriend ever.” A pause. “I really think she’s the one, Shayne.”

_Pretty girl, there’s no need to fret, ‘cause it’s midnight, he’s drunk and you’re the one in his head. You don’t even have to try at all._

Shayne’s heart sank to his stomach. Before he could respond he heard the faint sound of Damien’s snoring next to him, and he was once again left alone for his thoughts to consume his mind.

———

If there was anywhere Shayne wanted to be, it was at home, playing video games or eating shitty food. He certainly didn’t wish to be sitting in a fancy restaurant across the table from his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend.

He wasn’t completely sure how he’d let himself get roped into being the third wheel on what was so obviously a date, yet, here he was. _I need you there,_ Damien had said. _For moral support._ And so Shayne agreed. Because it was Damien and he couldn’t say no to him.

He hadn’t said much the whole night, scared if he opened his mouth he might admit everything he’d been feeling the past year. He wanted to tell Damien everything. He wanted to tell him how he felt about him, how hard it had been to watch them together this past year, how many times he’d wished he’d just realized his feelings sooner—before any of this. The thought had crossed his mind multiple times that night, to just excuse himself so he wouldn’t have to witness the event that followed dinner, but he couldn’t make himself move. He couldn’t leave Damien there to do this alone. Besides, there was always the chance she would say no.

No matter what the outcome, Shayne just wanted this night to be over. He felt indescribably awkward sitting there watching while they talked and laughed and were in love. He hated the pain in his chest any time he noticed Damien looking at her. The way his smile reached his eyes and how his whole face lit up when she caught him staring out of the corner of her eye and smiled back, scrunching her face up to make him laugh.

_Pretty girl, oh, he looks at you as if life is perfect and the world is new. In those moments I just feel so small._

After they finished dessert, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, Damien immediately turning to Shayne for encouragement.

“What if she says no?” Damien asked, anxiously tapping his fingers on the table, looking around the crowded restaurant.

 _If only._ “She won’t,” Shayne answered, forcing his mouth to curl into an encouraging smile. He reached across the table, patting the other boy’s shoulder. “You got this, man.” He tried to ignore the pit in his stomach, moving back to sit in his chair again as she slid back into the seat beside Damien.

Everything started happening in agonizing slow motion. He could see Damien’s mouth moving, but couldn’t hear the words coming out. This was the first time he was thankful for that ringing in his ears. He watched as Damien moved from his seat to kneel in front of the girl he loved, digging his hand into his pocket and retrieving a small black velvet box, opening it to reveal the contents. His attention shifted to her. Her hand flying up to cover her mouth, nodding furiously. Damien placing the ring on her finger, jumping up to grab her face in his hand and kiss her.

_And I won’t hate you but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?_

The ringing in Shayne’s ears was replaced with the sound of his own heart beating loud and hard as the restaurant erupted into cheers. He forced himself to join in, to ignore the fact that everything was starting to spin around him, to ignore the pit in his stomach that seemed to double in size every day.

_How stupid to think that I could compare to the pretty girl with the butterscotch hair._

———

“You’re my best man, Shayne,” Damien scoffed. “It’s your job to listen to me panic.” He loosened the tie around his neck, pacing around the small room.

Wedding day. Time for Shayne to put on the performance of a lifetime, this time with the biggest audience yet. It would be a lot easier if all he had to do was sit in the audience and put on a fake smile, but, of course, seeing that it was his best friends wedding day, after all, he had to be up in front of the crowd alongside Damien.

“You’re literally getting _married_ in like,” Shayne glanced down at his watch, “two minutes. There’s no time for you to panic now.” He couldn’t help but smile at the other man, taking in his appearance. His hair was ruffled from running his fingers through it, his suit jacket thrown across the chair in the corner of the room, and his tie loose around his neck. “You gotta fix,” he paused. “ _All_ of this,” he continued, waving his hands around, motioning to all of Damien. This earned a laugh from his best friend.

Damien leaned down to the small mirror on the table, smoothing his hair down before turning back to Shayne raising his eyebrows as if to ask _‘better?’._ Shayne scoffed, moving forward to fix the tie around his neck, grabbing his suit jacket off the chair and handing it to him. “There you go, buddy,” he chuckled, glancing back at his watch. _Showtime_. This was happening, whether Shayne liked it or not, he might as well get it over with.

_Yes, so stupid to think that I could compare to the pretty girl with the butterscotch hair._

Shayne thought it was going to be a small wedding—which it was—but standing alongside Damien in front of everyone made it feel like there were hundreds of people staring at him, waiting for him to crack. No one was focused on him, of course, because they were all standing as Damien’s girlfriend—fiancée, soon to be wife—draw closer to them. He glanced over at Damien, who looked like he was about to start fully crying, then back towards her.

_And I won’t hate you but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?_

The whole ceremony was a blur. In a way, he was glad he didn’t remember any of it. All he knew was that he did everything he was supposed to. He plastered on a fake smile, handed the rings off when he was supposed to, and applauded at all the right moments. So, in retrospect, it went swimmingly.

After the ceremony, came the reception—even more time faking happy. At least he had alcohol for this part. After the reception, he had to return to their apartment— _his_ apartment. _It wasn’t their apartment anymore_ , Shayne had to remind himself. Because Damien was married now, because he’d moved out—because that’s what married people do They move out of the tiny apartment they shared with their best friend to live with their new wife. To start their new life—to start their families. Shayne wondered if he would ever move out, into a house with a wife of his own, to start a family of his own. He wondered if the pit in his stomach would ever shrink. Part of him knew that it would never be gone completely, but he could hope it would at least shrink.

_And I won’t hate you but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?_

Shayne threw his suit jacket and phone onto the living room couch, retreating to the kitchen to grab a drink. When he returned he had a new notification. A text. From Damien. He unlocked his phone, opening the text. It was a photo of him, a massive grin on his face, his new wife smiling alongside him. He scrolled down to the caption. ‘ _Honeymoon bound! Thanks for being my best man and my best friend. Love you, dude. :)’_

He sat down on the couch, drink in one hand, phone in the other, taking in his apartment. It looked so bare without all of Damien’s things there. _‘Love you, too, man. Congrats.’_ He typed back, pressing send before slumping back into the couch and bringing the glass to his lips.

_And I won’t hate you but, oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to sarah for giving me constant validation and to cat for being my beta.


End file.
